


Actions Left Unsaid

by bardsandbeetles



Category: Marriage Story (2019)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, Nostalgia, Post-Divorce, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 15:54:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29827335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bardsandbeetles/pseuds/bardsandbeetles
Summary: Life is a fragmented, complicated, glorious back and forth of repair and destruction. Just when everything seems to be on the mend, the refrain of desolation sings again.  Charlie has moved on with his life just like Nicole has, and they're raising their son in the LA area.  He's met someone new, and everything is going well - but is it going TOO well, for the tall brunette haired theater guru?
Relationships: Charlie Barber/Nicole Barber, Charlie Barber/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 1





	Actions Left Unsaid

**Author's Note:**

> Just a one shot, enjoy :)

LA was hot, stuffy sweaty – crowded.

It was like being crammed in a shoe box that was far too small and far too full at the same time.

There was barely any room to breathe without bumping into someone.

If you were a social person, it wouldn’t bother you perhaps.

Charlie had once considered himself a very social person. At one time in his life he would have reveled in the changes, the hustle and bustle and constant challenges. Now though it just seemed to drain him, to take the life out of him.

He’d thought about moving.

If he were a younger man, with no children and no ties to this place maybe he would have considered it.

He’d thought about going to college out in Arizona ages ago, but it’d never come to fruition.

He’d chased his dreams of becoming a director, he’d met Nicole, they’d had the baby…

Life moved fast.

Too fast.

It reminded him of a Tilt-A-Whirl ride that had come completely unhinged at the seams. When you got off it, you felt nauseous and giddy and probably had a case of the hiccups, swaying to and fro like a tipsy person. 

When you were little, you went on those rides for fun.

When you got older you realized life was a ride – and it never stopped, no matter how exhausted you were.

But it wasn’t all bad. There were small streams of sunlight peeking through the shadowy mists. 

There were tender moments, like when Henry turned ten and they spent the whole morning building a mini model t airplane and sitting side by side eating fruit loops and watching cartoons.

They hadn’t done anything crazy or outlandish, but the boy had rested his head on his father’s shoulder and sighed – and that sigh said everything. 

Happiness.

Peace.

Simplicity.

He played his gameboy, he got decent grades, he helped with chores like any kid would. But he seemed genuinely happier, now that the divorce was settled and they’d had a few years to get into a routine.

Sometimes Charlie still missed New York.

He missed open mike night. 

He missed his rowdy bunch of actors, singers, dancers and stage crew friends. He missed the challenge of writing for New York audiences. LA audiences were a challenge in itself – they had very different tastes than New Yorkers did. 

They wanted things that reminded them of Sundance, not Broadway. 

Broadway was more dramatic and emotional. Everything was splash and color and lighting, sound effects and elaborate stages.

When he’d first moved here, he hadn’t known how different they could be.

The LA crowd wanted emotion, but they wanted it in subtext, in smaller tender scenes where the lighting was gentler and things were less obvious. You really had to look for the meaning, in his films here, where in New York the meaning of a show might be shouted to the rooftops in the first act.

And then of course there was Angie.

Angie was so different from Nicole. 

His ex-wife was curvy and blonde and ambitious, mouthy and always seemed to steal the show. She was competitive and never quite knew when to stop. She had pushed him to be his best – beyond his best even, but then, that’s one of the reasons they had friction between them that led to their eventual break up. Her competitiveness. She never knew when to just pause, until the point of exhaustion. 

But she was beautiful and smart as a whip and he didn’t want to admit it but at first when they started having problems, that was one of the reasons he had difficulty letting go.

He was so tired of butting heads with her, her stubborn nature, and yet the spark of her was exactly what pulled him in in the first place. 

Angie was quieter.

She still had a strength and a fire to her, but it wasn’t explosive. 

She was patient, more an introvert.

While Nicole had always wanted to be out and about, a social butterfly, Angie was content to curl up on his couch with him and watch old movies, her long dark hair brushing over his shoulder as she cuddled into him while the smell of the rain and the sound of light thunder rolled just outside the house. She was a highly detailed person and she took her career seriously – she was just as creative as him though as a graphic designer, and maybe that’s why they meshed. 

She didn’t seem to be irritated when he was in the limelight.

She wasn’t annoyed when he told the most massive (and sometimes embellished) stories when they were out to dinner with friends. 

And on top of that, she seemed to adore Henry.

He didn’t have to beg her to meet his son – the LA types here wanted very little to do with commitment and meeting children, but somehow he’d found her, and she actively wanted to spend time with Henry. She had a nephew around his age – Zachariah – and sometimes she’d even bring the two together while she worked on coding for a company. 

She’d watch them with a gentle smile, her big dark almond eyes resting against her smile lines around her high cheek bones and she’d chuckle under her breath before turning back to her laptop and try to get her work done.

They were in every sense of the word, the family he’d been looking for. 

He knew it wasn’t fair.

He knew he had to find happiness in himself.

After the mess with Nicole, he’d actually taken initiative and gone to therapy a few times, but like many good habits it petered off into good intentions and nothing more.

And she brought so much light into his life, it was hard not to want to just let her ‘fix’ things, including himself.

And yet Nicole and he still had some semblance of a relationship mainly because of Henry. 

They couldn’t quite cut each other 100 percent out of each other’s lives, and if they were totally honest they didn’t want to, even though they both had significant others now.

Nicole had even met Angie – though that had been a total accident, if he were honest.

Of course, he hadn’t wanted to hide the 5’3 Texan native from Nicole, but if he were honest he hadn’t really known how to make the proper introductions, or let her know that Angie had been around their child multiple times.

As luck – or fate – would have it, the two women had met each other because it was Charlie’s turn to pick up Henry from school, but he had an emergency (a cracked tooth thanks to an experience gone wrong with a raspberry macadamia caramel twist ice cream) and Nicole had to pick up Henry.

Angie had a key to his house, (she often helped him take their small dog Toby out and besides they’d dated long enough that he felt it was natural for her to have one) and opened the door, and...well several fevered phone calls later and a bunch of miscommunications, and Angie officially met Nicole. 

That had been a conversation.

"How could you not tell me you were letting a new person around our son? I was totally caught off guard!"

"I didn’t think it mattered – you’re dating too!" He’d said an almost accusatory tone, and she she’d frowned deeply, running a hand through her choppy ash blond hair. He’d always liked her hair longer. This new cut didn’t do it for him – but then, nothing was about him anymore.

"Jesus Charlie. If I’d known I would have...have…"

"What?" He’d fumbled. They’d never been great at confrontation – or well, actually, they were great at causing it, but not handling it.

"I woulda put some makeup on or something. I don’t want her thinking I’m a bum!" 

"No one’s going to think you’re a bum, Nic." He’d muttered and she’d sighed heavily. 

She was naturally pretty without a stitch of makeup on. Even with the shorter hair she had large blue green eyes, warm apples on her cheeks and a full pout. She could easily be a CoverGirl. How did she not see that, even after all this time? The casting directors had certainly seen it. As a teen she’d been cast almost immediately, and even after the divorce she got consistent work – in both directing and acting. 

But Angie being Angie, even though he and Nicole had a friendly relationship now, she wasn’t the jealous type. 

When he’d talked to her about it, she’d waved a tan hand and laughed the incident off. 

“It was certainly a way to meet Henry’s mama, but I don’t blame her.” She’d chuckled. “If I came to drop my kid off and some lady answered the door I’d never met before, I’d be mad and confused too.” Then she’d poured him a bourbon and herself an ice tea and took dinner out of the oven. Mac and Cheese casserole with green beans on the side and raspberry pudding with whip cream for dessert. 

He’d caught a whiff of her perfume – lilac and spiced mulled amber – and had nearly canceled dinner right then and there for some ‘quality time’ with her. But of course, they had Henry and Zack that night right in the other room (they were packing up their Legos and arguing playfully about Batman vs Superman, and who was better) so it was a no go.

Things were good.

Things were steady.

He had another grant coming his way.

She had a big project for Peleton, to actually do their web marketing campaign, and she couldn’t be more excited. 

So there was one little event that replayed in his mind over and over again. 

Angie most certainly didn’t know about it, but there had been one moment that he and Nicole had ended up kissing again, for the first time since their divorce.

He hadn’t meant to.

He’d been feeling particularly sour because of a review on his latest play.

It hadn’t gone the way he’d wanted it to, and he’d come home an absolute mess, smelling of cigarettes, cheap gasoline and whiskey.

Angie and him had fought over it, and she’d shielded Henry from what a mess his dad was, and taken him to the park.

An hour later he was still moody and he found himself talking to Nicole. She’d always been great at handling his reviews – him not so much. It was habit, an old habit that was hard to kill. 

Usually she wouldn’t come over, she’d just talk him off a cliff, but this time she actually drove up.

And they went over the reviews and she’d listened to him thunder and brood about it, like old times, and in her very logical way she both poked holes in their dissension as well as his own bloated ego. 

“You knew how difficult this piece was gonna be, taking it from novel to show. And you knew there was a chance the LA audience wasn’t going to understand it, but you had to do it anyways because that’s you.” Nicole had grumbled, but good-naturedly. 

“I just don’t get why they objected to the plot line. They called it thinly veiled and poisonously subtle!” He’d grunted, and threw the paper to the side. 

“And you knew you had several standing ovations. The first round of critics are always the harshest.” She’d crossed her arms, lifting a golden brow in her messy bangs. “Remember how they tore me apart about when I directed Scarlet Fever Dreams?” She snorted. 

He nodded.

“They called it insensitive and thoughtless and I was a wreck for a week. But I didn’t stop. And neither can you.” She’d crooned in that breathy, almost scratchy way of vernacular she had and somehow he’d found himself kissing her, pushing the couch cushions aside just to get a taste of her, to drink her in. She was both irritation and comfort all in one. 

She’d pulled back almost immediately, shock and confusion on her face.

“Charlie.” She’d placed a gentle hand on his chest. “You can’t do that.”

He took a deep breath in. “I’m sorry.”

“I know. I know you’re frustrated and upset and irritated.” She answered and sighed. “But I’m not the answer to your problems. If anything,” she laughed softly, “I was a very expensive problem of yours not that long ago.”

“You were never really a problem.”

“Now that’s a lie and we both know it.” She laughed outright. “You were screaming in my living room, you punched a hole in the wall three years ago. We were on the brink of madness and you know it. Let’s not ruin everything, for a meaningless...whatever this would be.”

“It wouldn’t be meaningless.” He’d tussled his own brazenly almond locks. She had shook her head sadly. 

“Yeah it would. It’d be hollow. And it would ruin everything we’d built. You can’t do that Charlie, not to me or Henry and most of all Angie. She really adores you, and Henry.”

“You know I hate it when you’re right.” He’d fussed and huffed but he pulled back and she fixed her shirt.

“You gonna tell her about this?” She finally spoke.

“I don’t know.” He’d breathed in and out, pinching his nose. 

She’d left shortly after that.

But he did know.

He did.

He couldn’t pull a Gatsby.

He couldn’t go back in time, and if he were honest, he didn’t want to.

Angie came home with Henry two hours later, when the sun slipped past the trees. The kid was buzzing about baseball and how they’d driven past an accident, and asking for dessert before dinner.

And Angie was patient with him, staring at Charlie with a shy uncertain kind of face.

And he knew somehow in that moment, somethings were better left unsaid. 

Telling her about the accidental kiss with Nicole would only make things worse, and he wanted – desperately – to have peace.

He knew if it came out later it could threaten everything, but so far it hadn’t, and he was content to live with that secret if it gave him the happiness he so deeply craved. 

Just for one, he was ok with being a liar. 

There was too much at stake, if he let the truth come out.


End file.
